this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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