THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
