EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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