I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
