i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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