I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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