I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
