Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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