I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
