no, he came in my armpit
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
