Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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