I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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