wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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