omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my being single is dangerous.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
