So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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