carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
