I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
do nipples grow back?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
