Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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