U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
