office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
