She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
