Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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