I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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