R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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