More tranny stories later!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
