No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
