Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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