I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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