You made me cry and you don't even care
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
