I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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