Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
