I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
