Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
