Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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