how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
