the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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