Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
