If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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