i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
