where am i from again
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize