Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
