I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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