It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
