We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize