so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Are we still banned from the library?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
