My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
