I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
