U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
