When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
