Nicole vs. Life
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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