lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
