She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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