the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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