Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
