so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
