Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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