There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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