its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
