Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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