Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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