his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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