apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
