I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
